Split Level House Decorating Ideas

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Maybe we're being stereotypical (OK, we totally are), but there's just something about the thought of a typical hubby shopping for floral drapes or vintage cabinet pulls that makes us chuckle. In reality, given free creative reign, we bet his finds would be a little more like this:

1. Your pillowcases would smell like bacon.
And we don't mean that he'd indulge in a daily breakfast-in-bed ritual. We regret to inform you that bacon-scented pillows are not just the stuff of dreams, but in fact a totally real thing.

2. Function would beat form every single time.
A flat-screen TV would be the only component of your "gallery wall," you'd hang drapes or mini-blinds (never both), and your vintage dining table would morph into a place to store your dinnerware, always at-the-ready for your next meal.

RELATED: 9 Brilliant Ways to Decorate Around a TV »

3. Your walls would be beige, and your couch would be beige, and your throw pillows would be beige, and your …. you get the picture.
Because "accent color" just isn't in the modern male's vocabulary.

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4. Every chair would be overstuffed and cushy, waiting for you to sink into it.
And of course, they'd all recline with a push of a button.

5. Star Wars posters (once appropriate only for his college dorm), would paper your bedroom walls.
To play devil's advocate, they are coming back into style.

6. You'd have a teeny TV in the bathroom.
And you might never see him again. (OK, we admit we'd use it, too. Point to husbands.)

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7. Your bed would have exactly two pillows.
After all, that's all that is required for a restful night's sleep. And what is the point of an uncomfortable, decorative pillow covered in beading, anyway?

8. You'd sleep in red satin (or, well, satin-inspired) sheets every night.
The key to any love nest, obviously.

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9. Sports logos would be the only print in sight.
And his high-school baseball trophies would serve as treasured heirlooms on display.

10. Anything living would be replaced with the faux version.
Why have a real, time-sucking houseplant when you can have a no-care fake one? Don't turn your back on your lawn; one day, you might come home to AstroTurf.

TELL US: How would your husband decorate your house?

More on Home Decor:
• This Girl's Bedroom Is Fit for a Modern Princess• 9 Clever Ways to Make a New House Feel Like Home• The Paint Colors Designers Always Use

Photos: Getty

Lauren Piro Senior Web Editor Overseeing all things home for GoodHousekeeping.com and HouseBeautiful.com, Lauren swoons over midcentury design and employs tough-love approach to decluttering (just throw it away, ladies).

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